Tuesday nights I have my RCIA class. For those of you who don't know what that is....Basically as a baby, I was never baptized. I never then had the opportunity to make my communion or confirmation. In order to be accepted into the Catholic Church and call yourself a Catholic, you must receive these Sacraments.
Back in the winter, we watched a movie which broke down the "OUR FATHER PRAYER".
Breaking down the meaning of the "OUR FATHER PRAYER".
Since we have a new student in the class, Mother Geri thought it was be a good idea that the new student watch this so he understands the prayer. I didn't mind, because I enjoy learning by movies, video, etc. I also LOVE the "OUR FATHER" prayer. I took notes again in class last night and compared them to the notes I took this winter, and I learned more! I guess you can NEVER learn enough about OUR FATHER and JESUS.
Let me take a step back to yesterday. I get into these funks where I don't want to leave my house. Since I am dealing with a lot with my son, I don't really feel like being social, friendly or around anyone. If I am not feeling right emotionally I believe it's better to stay away rather than put my negative or saddened emotions on others. I guess it's ME being SELF-LESS. A part of me kept saying that I didn't want to go to class on Tuesday night. I kept making up excuses in my mind why I shouldn't go. The other part of me kept saying that I NEEDED THIS CLASS tonight, because it WILL BRING ME CLOSER to God and I may be able to relieve some of the sadness I am holding inside my heart. After going back and forth for about an hour in my head, I decided that I NEED TO GO, SHOULD GO, and WANTED to go, because I BELONG THERE.
During the movie while the narrator would breakdown parts of the prayer, I would THINK DEEPLY about each one... If you click on the link above you can read how I interpreted each line in the prayer.
One part of the prayer HIT home for me and HITS home each time I say the prayer.
"FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO TRESPASS AGAINST US"
I have a hard time forgiving a SMALL select few people who have entered or left my life. Mother Geri says that I NEED to forgive these people and really think about whether or not having them OUT of my life has made me better or worse, and in each situation, I have become a BETTER person. In order for GOD to forgive my trespasses, I have to forgive these people. I almost came to tears in my class last night which lead me to the realization that I still have a lot of hurt in my heart, and i need to MOVE ON from it. BUT HOW?
....Well, I held back the tears because I am not to familiar with everyone in the class, and if it were just me , Kathy & Mother Geri, I probably would have broken down. These two woman mean a lot to me, and it's because of the RCIA, that I am not only getting closer to GOD, but sharing his word, and becoming a better person each day.
Geri says: If you know of someone who is ALWAYS negative, down, grumpy, etc, it's probably because they don't know
GOD. How sad is that? Those people are self-centered and self-centered people usually have self pity, which leads to temptation, which leads to BAD choices in life. That's the DEVIL. I asked God last night to keep temptation from me, to help me NOT to sin, and save me from those who test my faith.
In the beginning with all the stuff I was going through with Tyler, I asked Mother Geri what prayer I should be praying for him. IMMEDIATELY, she told me PSALM:23.
I started praying Psalm:23 like it was my job. Instead of saying "I" I would say "TYLER".
Psalm 23
23:1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
23:2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
23:3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
23:5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
23:6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
So I also listen to Catholic Radio on my XM in the car when I drive to and from work. I came across "WALK IN THE WORD" by James Macdonald. SO I was listening and decided when I got home I would look him up. The minute I clicked on his website the video below came up... If you have a few minutes WATCH THIS VIDEO. It's exactly what I am dealing with now with my son. It's 7 minutes long...
You may have to cut and copy into your browser, you'll be so happy you did!
http://vimeo.com/24693534
Anyway, Long story short, I know God because he talks to me EVERYDAY. It's HE who guides me, pushes me and directs me where I need to be, directs me with the choices I should make, and it's HE whom I trust with my EVERYTHING.
I KNOW, It's God that said Get your butt to RCIA class tonight and get your prayer on, girl!
That's just what I did. I LOVE my class, I love going to Mass, and I LOVE myself for doing this.
I am no preacher and I don't throw my faith on anyone, but if you are going through a rough time, praying to God helps. He hears you. He answers and he listens. Trust in him to guide you where you need to be. It may get worse before better, but he will guide you through it.
Just sayin.....